YummY! Down on This

Dear Customer,

I’m sure you’ve noticed the new register set up.  See the wall?  See the sign that says “Please Wait Here for the Next Available Cashier.”  Know what that means, it means the wall is driving you like a cattle chute, and you should wait at the sign for the next cashier to call you forth.

If I’m still with a person, I’m not an available cashier.  If you come down the chute to my register before I call you, then you are not waiting for the next available cashier.  At that point you are waiting for ME and ONLY ME. 

Know what I’m going to do?  I’m going to take my precious time.  I’m not going to rush my current customer to help you.  I’m going to chat with them if they feel chatty, and our customers often feel chatty.  I’m going to slowly clip out the cupon they gave me, luckly still attached to this week’s sales flyer so that I can take my time cutting it out.  I’m going to sort my stack of credit and debit slips and put them in their correct sleeves.  I’m going to re-stock my plastic bags, all while you stand there waiting on ME.

After at least 2 of my fellow cashiers have called someone forward who was BEHIND you and waited at the correct spot to wait, after at least one person behind you has been checked out and ushered out of the cattle chute, THEN I will begin ringing your purchases. 

I bet next time you might wait for the next available cashier instead of crowding up to my register without being called, and trying to rush my current customer.

Thank you, have a nice day, please come again.

–

Dear Customer(s),

If you shop here often I bet you know we print out coupons with every receipt that will be good for the following week.

I bet you DIDN’T know that I have a pocket full of the ones we gave out last week that are valid CURRENTLY.  I bet you didn’t know that I will pass them out to the right kind of people.

If I smile at you and you smile back I will ask you if you have a coupon and give you one if you do not.  If I speak to you and you speak to me like a human being I will offer you a coupon.  If you tell me up front that you don’t have a coupon and ask nicely if I might can give you one, I’ll give you one.

If you feed me a line about how you “left mine at home” I probably will not offer you a coupon.  If you are on the cell phone I will DEFINITELY not give you a coupon.  If you act in any way rude, demanding or condecending I will not give you a coupon.  If you say, “Well they give suchandsuch discounts at ‘insert competing stores name here’ so you should too” you will not get a coupon from me.

I started last week with not quite 20 coupons.  I have 15 left.  Thats a sad amount of people nice enough for me to have given a coupon too.

Remember, treat others as you wish to be treated.  Treat me nice, I’ll give you a treat.  Treat me badly, I’ll withhold the coveted coupons.

–

And speaking of coupons..

Dear Customer,

We have a policy that says, right on our coupon “One coupon PER CUSTOMER per day.”  Recently a manager talked with each of us individually to reinforce the one per customer per day rule.

One of our register coupons along with one of our sales flier coupons is 2 coupons, not one.  One of our coupons and one of our competitors is 2 coupons.  Yes, one plus one equals 2.

I told you I could only take one.  Arguing with me wont make me take two.  Telling me, “Well the girl took two yesterday” won’t make me take two either.  See, maybe the girl yesterday let you use 2 because she doesn’t need a job as badly as I do.  Will they fire me for taking 2 coupons instead of one?  Knowing my company like I do, if my DM sees me take two coupons then the answer could very well be yes.  Its not that uncommon for places of business to fire people for giving unauthorized discounts.

I do like to please my customers, but risking losing my job so that you can save 40% off of 2 different packs of stickers is not something I’m willing to risk for anyone’s happiness.

If you want to leave my line and check out again in someone elses lane that is your perogative.

Thank you, have a nice day, please come again….with ONE coupon.

One Response to “Dear Customer,”

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