YummY! Down on This

I want to create.  I want to sit down, have an idea in my head, and have it come out of my hands.

Sadly, it seems that I can’t even put words together in a creative sentence anymore, most less sit down and make something crafty.  And art seems to be utterly beyond me.  I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even try anymore.  I think of something and then I think….it wont be good enough.  I think, its not going to be “art” so why bother.

There was an artist, an art journaler, whose videos I used to watch on youtube, and I found them to be very encouraging, until in one video she started really dissing on how “bad” a journalers art was.  She was angry because said journaler had used one of her images in her art, but still, it burst my creative bubble.  I had been watching her “anyone can create art” videos, and was inspired, then she called someones art crap, and I realized, yeah, mine is pretty much crap too.

Just call me the goddess of low self esteem.

My art isn’t good enough, my photography isn’t good enough, my writing isn’t good enough.

What am I good enough for.

I know, I’m good for the menial labor I do every day.  I’m good for climbing ladders and lifting boxes.  I’m good for stocking shelves, for ringing up purchases, and for telling people which glue is best to use on metal, and where in the store to find the letter stickers and foam visors.  I’m thinking I’m an exellent employee, only for my yearly review to tell me that despite the 8 “customer service” stars I put on my shirt every day I’m not even a special employee.  What I am is average.

I’m good enough to be a drone.

Gah……that is full of suck.

I’m in a rut I need to get out of.

I want to create.  I need to be inspired.  Someone wanna come inspire me?
   

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